If you only knew....

Honestly, this is how I've been feeling lately. It's starting to hit me now, even though its been quite sometime now. It's pretty foolish of me to be posting this but either way I'm still going to feel the same.

Trey Songz - Missin You

Wongfu MV - What If by Babyface

Philip Wang - No Defense

For a second

Things were going fairly well, but things are just falling apart. It's taking a toll on me. School's not going so well, money issues are starting to pile up, and just a bunch of other shit as well. I know that life is always unexpected but not to this degree. Its as if I was destined to be as miserable as possible. Never in my life have I felt this miserable about everything; I honestly hate everything thats going on for me right now.

Right now I feel pretty sick. I don't know exactly why. Maybe its because of all the caffeine I've had this week. Or maybe its because it's starting to hit me....I know it shouldn't bother me this much. She's probably moved on. I need to move on as well. I really don't think I'm over this. Nothing feels the same. Everything I do seems to be forced in some way. Forced smiles, forced conversations, forced everything... I would like to tell her how much I miss her. How much I think about her. How much I'm sorry for everything... But to be honest, I think it's high improbable that she would want to here all of that. Most likely it'll just piss her off I think. That and I really don't think she wants to talk to me right now... probably for a very long time. Well maybe sleeping it off will be good for me...

At this very moment

I feel like shit. Physically and mentally. I just want of this shit just to end right now...